When The Past Becomes Present

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I really don’t want to go backwards. Like many of us there are things and people I would rather not revisit in my older years. Some have specific reasons, others do not.

A week or so ago I had someone from my past make themselves present. An old, old friend who because of time and life itself is now more an acquaintance than anything else. As we grow older we change, all of us do and when you haven’t seen or spoken to someone in many years you truly no longer know that person as you once did.

When we were teenagers we were very close friends along the lines of brother and sister. We reconnected through Facebook somewhere around five years ago and it didn’t go well. I had grown up and changed and so had he. Before we go any further, I said it’s a he. Let me answer the question in your mind, No, there was never any kind of romantic involvement. We were truly just good teenage friends.

Our re-connection five years ago showed how very, very different we are as grown adults. Because of this the “friendship’ ended on a sour note and I thought nothing else about it since that time. Fast forward to last week. I received a message from this person on Facebook and I hesitated to answer for twenty four hours. I then began to feel guilty. Why guilt? Well because I’m a Christian and we are not supposed to turn our backs on anyone so I answered my old friend and then I gave permission for a phone call. During the phone call he told me he loved me and I said I love you too. Remember, this kind of love is friend love, not romantic love.

Truth is, while I do feel sad for the stuff he’s going through, eighty percent of it is his own doing and with all that  I have in my own life with my own poor health, my husbands health, our financial issue’s, my dogs, my home, my extended family I really, really do not need nor want people in my life who are one hundred percent negative and one hundred percent drama all the time. I was contacted by him again two days ago asking me when would be a good time to call and I never answered. I just do not want to go back there. My gut is screaming at me not to get involved again. My mother always taught me, “follow your gut” but at the same time in this situation I also feel guilty. I love him as I love others but sometimes just because you love someone doesn’t mean you need to involve yourself in something knee deep that you know will only hurt you in one way or another.

What would you do? What is your advice?

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