Corona Diaries 3-23-2020

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I have to admit, last night my anxiety meter went a bit high with this virus. There is SO much information just everywhere you look. You seriously can’t get away from it unless you choose too.

That’s what I did for the better part of this day. Today is Monday and in my house Monday’s mean my friend comes to help me with the cleaning. She and I sat down at the table this morning and had a good talk about what the near future might hold with her coming over. It’s a tough situation because for one, I need her help. She does the heavy cleaning that my body just won’t do which is basically all of it. For another reason, and one which means a ton to her, she is self employed. She doesn’t have employees or anything like that, she works for herself cleaning people’s homes. If she doesn’t work she has no income and if she has no income she doesn’t eat.

She also has the responsibility of her elderly mother who is not in good health. So there’s a lot to think about. But then, there is the elephant in the room. Yes, the virus. So like all people we sat and scratched our heads just wondering what we should do about this.

My husband and I spoke about it the other day and so I relayed to her what we spoke about. If at any time I feel, or my husband feels, or she feels uncomfortable coming over, or one of should not feel well for whatever reason then she won’t come until things clear up. At the same time though we will still pay her like we do every week.

Now before you get it in your mind that we have a ton of money let me just dispel that thought right now. We do NOT have a ton of money. We live on a fixed income and because she is a kind, caring soul, she does not charge us very much for what she does. Also, because her help to us is so important to us, we put her on the monthly budget every month. Paying her is as important to us as paying our mortgage or car payment. We need our house, we need our car and we need her.

Everyone’s priorities of what they need are different. These are just some of ours. SO how are we able to still pay her living on a fixed income? Firstly, the money we pay her is always put aside the first of every month. If she were still coming to clean we would be paying her anyway. Secondly and most important, this is a bad time for people in the whole world. We have no idea what will happen from hour to hour, day to day. Will we get sick? Will someone we love get sick? Will we, they survive? Will we not get sick? No one knows the answers to these questions. As I said above, if she does not get paid she does not eat and she has others to worry about so it’s not just herself. We HAVE to help each other and since I would be paying her anyway if this was not happening in the world, I would continue to pay her so she has some kind of money coming in. It may not be much but it’s something.

We still don’t know if this will happen but if it does I wanted her to know she doesn’t have to worry about pay, at least not from us. It’s early here while I’m writing this tonight. A little after seven pm but I am not feeling well. No, I don’t believe I have the virus, I have many nights and days where I don’t feel well because of my own poor health and how I physically feel changes from day to day as well as severity. So I am actually resting in bed with a book that I am desperately trying to read about simple living. Hoping it will get my mind off things and help me to relax because it feels pretty bad when you physically feel unwell and anxious at the same time.

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Corona Diaries 3-22-2020

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Today is Sunday which belongs fully to God. Unfortunately because I can not attend Mass as our Bishop has suspended masses due to the Covid-19 virus going to Mass to worship God with my community of brothers and sisters was not an option. I am however grateful that I live in an age where technology was able to bring the Mass to me in my home via live stream on Youtube.

The morning began at four -thirty AM when Toby (one of my 90 pd pitbull mixes decided to jump on my bed and lay on my legs). I was up until five thirty AM when I could no longer keep my eyes open so I went back to sleep until seven thirty, almost eight am. Ate some eggs, made some coffee and sat down with the scriptures for the day. At ten AM, I attended Mass online with Fr. Mike Schmitz from Ascension Presents until eleven am.

Afterwards I began reading a book I’ve had for a while about frugality and simple living. I was doing well most of the day as far as the virus anxiety until about five pm when I went online to a local page for the residents of the town I live in. Understand that my town is very large but the town itself is broken up into little communities.

I live in the historic district. We have one Walgreens, one CVS, a super Wal-mart, a Food Lion and a very old IGA. I would estimate that 98% of all people who live in my district use Walgreens for their prescriptions and just about everything else. Inside the store as well as the drive through is usually packed no matter what time of day or night you go there.

I have prescriptions waiting to be picked up. I have been putting it off because I am not sure I want to chance going out to a store, drive through or not but I have to have my prescriptions. So in my mind I’ve been going back and forth on what to do. This afternoon around five pm someone posted asking why the Walgreens was suddenly closed. As in the entire store locked down. Turns out, one of the employees has Coronavirus, they just found out and locked down the store to disinfect.

Here’s what I’m thinking though. One employee gets Coronavirus. How long have they had it? How long were they working until they got sick and tested? Who else in the store have they come in contact with? How many items have they come in contact with? Who else now has Coronavirus that works there but doesn’t know it yet because they haven’t been tested? So my panic meter went up pretty high.

There are three things that I really need to do outside of the home and I honestly do not know how to handle it. The first is getting my prescriptions. The second is I have to go to the bank and deposit cash. The last is I have to get my one dog to the vet for her blood because she has a thyroid condition and needs new medication but has to have her levels checked and her brother, yeah the one who jumped on me at four am needs his nails cut badly. No, he won’t let me do them.

So here I sit wondering how to do this and not get sick or not come in contact with the virus and possibly bring it home to my husband.

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Corona Diary 3-21-2020

I don’t remember how many days it’s been since we went out but it’s not been too many. I am not bothered by this because I have always been more of an introverted person, have always liked being in my home, so for me voluntary quarentining isn’t really a hard ship.

Sadly for many others it is because the younger generations have no understanding of the value of home and home making. Maybe in a good way this will teach them about that.

When I grew up in New Jersey, everything was closed on holidays and Sunday’s. There truly wasn’t one store open. It’s not like that now where I grew up which is a shame I think but where I live now in South Carolina in the historic part of town it is still that way. As in my childhood, Sunday’s here are for the Lord and for resting.

Sadly again, the younger generations have no sense of this nor do they participate because they haven’t been taught. For most of them, God either doesn’t exist or He does exist but He is some far away being who isn’t involved in our every day lives. This saddens me more than anything.

Back to the present moment, Holy Week will be here soon and then Easter Sunday. I am still kind of stunned that there will be no Holy Week Masses, no Confession, and no Easter Sunday Mass. This has not happened since the Christian persecution by the Romans!

It’s also confusing. You have some Priests, Bishops and Cardinals agreeing with the shutting down of the Churches, Masses, Sacraments, etc but others are saying it’s wrong.

For me, I don’t know which is right or wrong or even if it is a question of right and wrong. It’s confusing, frustrating and sad but I will not despare because I know the Lord is with me where ever I am or am not.

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Corona Diary 3-18-2020

This virus has been dominating the news and social media for more than two weeks now. One has to tune it out as best one can for a little while which is what I am trying to do. As I write this so many thoughts racing through my mind it’s hard to shut it off.

I am concerned for my husband, my family up in New Jersey, my friends all over the country and for strangers all over the word. Like most I think, I have a small constant knot in my stomach for fear those I love will not come out on the other side of this unscathed. I am trying with all I have in me not to be ruled by fear and anxiety and to look to Jesus but I am having times throughout the day where it’s harder.

Like most, I think I flip flop between calm, panic and confusion.

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Corona Diary 3-17-2020

Coronavirus fear and panic continues to sweep the nation. Grocery stores are still out of toilet paper, paper towel, sanitizing wipes and hand sanitizer. In some stores, meats, canned goods, rice, beans and soups are low as well.

The news cycle continues to run the story of the virus day and night. Each day or hour depending on how much you listen or watch we learn of new cases and new deaths. All social media platforms feeds are overrun with news and opinions on the Coronavirus. Some people on social media are praying, most are fighting with each other.

Schools, a lot of businesses and most Churches are now closed. Last night our bishop sent a letter telling us all masses are being suspended until further notice. The Blessed Sacrament and the sacrament of Confession are also no longer available to us. This, has me quite upset.

There is a constant tension in the atmosphere filled with fear and anxiety felt by mostly all people. There are fights in grocery stores over toilet paper and other items. What should be a time that would bring out the best in others seems to be bringing out the worst. I have witnessed both a rise in faith and also a lack of faith.

On a personal level, myself and my husband are trying not to go anywhere we don’t have too. I am trying best I can to disinfect all surfaces and items we touch every few days which, with my poor health to begin this is not an easy task but I am trying. For now, we have enough food and suppllied to last a while.

I am trying very hard to put all of this into the Lords hands and trust Him reminding myself every few hours if need be that He is in control, begging His mercy, asking for forgiveness of my sins, trying to learn to be obedient and draw closer to Him and our Blessed Mother.

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