It’s Sunday, Mothers Day. Yes I know I did not put up a post about Mothers Day. I will explain why in another post, probably tomorrows why I didn’t. Anywho, it’s a gorgeous day here today. A Sunny 78 degree day with a beautiful blue sky without a single cloud and where am I ? Sitting in the air conditioner.
It’s on days like this that I hate being chronically ill. I mean, I always hate being chronically ill but gorgeous days like this can make it tough on the psychie. On a day like this especially if it’s a Sunday I’d much rather be sitting outside on my deck. It’s not much of a deck but it’s enough for me. Sitting at the table with the umbrella up as the slight breeze passes through listening to the dim sounds of the neighborhood, the rustling of the trees and the singing of the birds. Instead I am sitting in the house writing this blog post listening to the hum of the central air conditioner. Wondering why? Headaches. Migraines. Neck pain that leads to headaches that lead to migraines. Just one of the many symptoms my body decides to throw out at me daily. It has backed off since earlier but I know between my own body and allergies within the first ten minutes of me being outside, the inside of my nose will swell like a prize fighter who just got knocked out cold and the pain will send me over the edge. Knowing the odds of this, it’s safer to stay where I am.
Next question: Why don’t you take anything to help? I have and have gotten zero relief. There’s also the issue of me and medications. My body acts oddly to medications and I haven’t been willing to try a new one in a long time. I am also, we believe, allergic to aspirin and most migraine medications have aspirin properties. I am trying to find somewhere to test me for this to be truly sure I have an allergy but so far all the allergy places I called do not do this kind of testing. But I will find somewhere. I will keep looking.
Now, those are the thoughts in my head. Want to know what’s in my heart and what truly matters? In my heart, I am thankful I am breathing. I am thankful my husband, my family and my friends are breathing. I am thankful I have a home to sit in and a window to look out of. I am thankful for the beautiful artwork God has provided me to look at through the window. I am thankful for beautiful days like this even though I may not be able to fully partake in them because days like this bring memories of my mom in my minds eye. She lived for days like this and could almost always be found outside working in her garden and tending her flowers. That was her happy place. I am thankful for the hum of that air conditioner so we can be cool when our temps here in the South begin to soar. I am thankful for the small amount of relief I am able to get from my pain with what I have. I am thankful to be able to have a car and money to put gas in it. I am thankful to be able to have food in my home and money to but it with. I am thankful to be able to get dressed every day. May not be the most expensive clothing but it’s fine enough.
And, while no one would choose to suffer or be in pain, I am thankful for my pain and suffering because it’s the only thing I have that I can offer God for others and myself. It’s the only gift I have to give Him. I am thankful for my faith that God has given me to accept His will for me at all costs because I know it pleases Him and will help myself or others, or both.
In the end , through all my sufferings God blesses. Blesses me much more than I deserve and blesses me with the knowledge enough to know that even though it may hurt and feel awful there is much, much more to be thankful for than not.
May God bless you even more abundantly each day.