Today is the first day of me trying to reset my inner clock. For so many years I was on such a rigid schedule because of Baileys physical and medical needs that it became second nature…….most of the time anyway…Having lost my Bailey a week ago I then tried having no schedule and I have to admit for most of the week it was nice to be able to stay in bed until 9am every day but by last night I realized I am no good without some kind of schedule. I am just one of those people who needs routine in their life. Thats when I decided it was time to try and reset my inner clock although, not with such a rigid schedule as I had as with Bailey but a structured day. This leads me into something else that has to do with a structured day.
For a long time I have been attracted to the life of a Carmelite, specifically discalced Carmelites. Whats that you’re wondering? Simply put, they are Nuns. Cloistered Carmelite Nuns who don’t wear shoes. May sound odd to some but you can check them out here and understand more. A Carmelite cloistered nun spends her life in prayer. Of course not just prayer but the majority of it and she does this inside a cloister. Giving up the outside world. She lives behind the walls. The thing is I know for a fact now ( I actually didn’t know for sure until recently) that I am not called to be a cloistered nun. My calling in this life is to be a wife but that doesn’t mean I can not practice Carmelite spirituality etc. I am also attracted to the daily life of a Carmelite. If you go to their website and click on Our Daily Life you can see exactly how they spend each hour of every day. Its a structure that I would like to somehow incorporate in my daily life as much as my station in life (being a wife) will allow. And that begins with resetting my internal clock also known as, early to bed, early to rise. Today was day one and yes it’s been a struggle to stay awake. I had my lights out by 1130 last evening, still too late but its a start and I was up by 5:30 am this morning. I seriously had to force myself to stay up.
I did however take a nap for approximately an hour and maybe ten minutes this afternoon. Much shorter than what I am used too which is like two and a half hour naps during the day but I did it.. It’s now 7:30 PM EST and I kind of look like this at the moment trying to keep popping my eyes open.
Wish me Luck!
If anyone would like to know about this please let me know in the comments!