I Ain’t Doin It

Well folks a new year has begun and along with it comes those dreaded ‘resolutions’ that so many people make.

As for myself, I stopped making resolutions years ago. I think they just put more added pressure on us, as if we didn’t already have enough and, when these ‘resolutions’ aren’t met they lead to let down and for some, even depression. So my question is, Why do that to yourself…My answer is, Nuh uh, I ain’t doin it.

I will tell you however what I do, do. Do do? Hmmm. Moving on..
Now I guess you can call them goals if you like but I still feel like that’s too much pressure so I call it aspirations. Things I would like to aspire to do. Sounds better doesn’t it? It also doesn’t feel pressurized to me either.
So what are my aspirations for this fresh new year?
Each day I want to become closer to the Lord through scripture reading, meditation and prayer. I want to know Him more. How can I say “I love you Lord” if I don’t know him? I want to spend more time with Him because that’s what we do with those we love isn’t it?
I do not make ‘plans’ for the future for two reasons. 1. As the old saying goes, “man plans, God laughs” and 2. We each are never guaranteed another day. We have only this very moment. God holds our very next breath in His loving hands. So instead of ‘planning’ I live for the moment and will try as best I can to make good use of the time the good Lord sees fit to give me.
I would like my social media time to become minimal. I think back to the days before I joined Facebook, Twitter, YouTube etc. and I remember what I used to do before these things. While social media can be helpful it can also be very hurtful in that it takes us away from what we truly enjoy. If anyone tells you there’s no such thing as social media addiction you tell them they’re wrong. Because they are. I want to get back to living life and not through a computer or iPhone screen.
I would like to get back to my blogging on a regular basis. My blog began as some place for me to share the ordinary of my daily life. And this is something I would really love to get back too.
I would like to keep ontop of my e-mails instead of letting them pile up to over five hundred e-mails and missing important e-mails from people I like and love because they got lost in the shuffle. I have already begun to unsubscribe from many store adverts and newsletters. Only keeping the ones I truly enjoy.
I would like to ‘spend more time’ with my husband. You know, after being married so many years, many of us get into a rut. We live in the same house but most of the time we are off in separate rooms doing our own things. Me and the Mr. are no different but I would like this to change. We have become too ‘comfortable” I think it’s time we become ‘uncomfortable’ and learn a ‘new kind of comfortable’ together.
I would like to go to bed earlier and rise earlier. I love the early morning hours. If only my eyes would stay open.
And lastly, I would like to live my motto. I want to just………..live Simply.
So what about you? What are YOUR aspirations for this fresh new year?
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Weekend In The Life

Weekend In The Life

Hi everyone,

I hope everyone had a good weekend. Ours was as always, a bit loud, a bit of the unexpected and just, well, our lives. So I thought I’d share some of it with you. This past week was so incredibly busy, there wasn’t one day I was home so you can imagine everything just got backed up. Laundry, clutter etc. By Friday my body was not happy with me at all so on Saturday, I tried to catch up a little bit but that didn’t happen because I had to go back out to Walmart and get what they couldn’t for my food shopping. Has anyone ever used the Wal-Mart pick up service? This is the second time I’ve used it and I have to tell you it saves me tons in pain and fatigue but the downside is sometimes they don’t have everything you ordered so you have to still go out and get what they couldn’t. Instead of doing laundry etc on Saturday I ran errands and then my body was completely finished with me so I didn’t get much else accomplished. I went to lay down around 1pm in the afternoon and all the sudden I heard what sounded like a sinking ship coming from my bathroom. Yup, the septic tank decided this was the weekend it was going to back up and need to be pumped out.

I panicked of course because it was a Saturday. I can’t tell you how many places I called. Turns out, I only have two in my area. One was closed and the other, oh sure they were open but instead of it costing me $275.00 they charged me $375.00 because you know, “it’s a Saturday and that’s consider an emergency call”. What a racket. The guy didn’t get here until 4:30 pm and was finished by 5:30 pm. Yes, we held it that long. Sorry. TMI.

But even still, the Lord saw fit to bless us in this mess anyway. Saturday morning, we had our deck fixed. The woman who cleans for me, her fiance came and fixed our deck for us for free. So thankkful for the kindness of others. The boards were rotting and we were about to fall through it. As a matter of fact, my oldest dog Jake who I’ll discuss in a moment did fall through it last Thursday. His front paw went straight into the hole in one of the boards and almost his whole arm got stuck in there. It was awful but he’s alright. So now the boards are fixed and the deck is secure.

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This morning, (Sunday), I wanted to go to Mass but my body was not having it. I am not surprised after the week I had so my morning began around 6:30 am with this.

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Once I was able to get my butt out of bed, no small feat mind you, it was time to cook breakfast for the hubby, put the laundry away that I had washed a week ago and start washing the laundry that had piled up all week.

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After I got the laundry done, I looked at the sad faces of my four youngest monkeys and decided since it’s such a nice day outside it was time for some short walks.

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And let me tell you , it ain’t easy. Because the two big ones need to be walked separately and Toby, the black and white one doesn’t know how to walk on a leash very well no matter how hard I try to train him. But, it was too beautiful not to take them.

 The husband decided it was time to burn the boxes we had laying around from the week. Why did we have boxes? Because we put down some carpet tiles in our dining room on Wednesday. I had a ceramic tile floor and it was a very light grey color. I don’t know what I was thinking when I chose that when we have six dogs. I washed that floor every single day, sometimes two and three times a day and I finally had it. So Wednesday morning we went to Lowes, bought the carpet tiles and laid them down the same morning.

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(Don’t mind my monkeys in the photo)

Then it was off to burn the boxes.

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In between all this I cleaned up the kitchen, the bedroom and washed my makeup brushes.

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For the rest of the day I’m going to take a much needed nap, make eggplant roll ups for dinner for my husband and then I’d like to read some tonight which is something I love to do but have really gotten away from this year. Somewhere along the line I must watch the season finale of “Versailles”. Does anyone else watch that show? I love it but I just wish there were more episodes.

Have a great week everyone!

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Stop, Let Me Off

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Oh how I wish life would just stop throwing curve balls.  There never seems to be any length of time where things are quiet, serene, boring. I would give much to have that for a long while. 

Most of my readers know my husband suffered a heart attack back in 2016. Since then it’s been an emotional and frightening roller coaster ride. One thing after another with his health, questions, unknowns, uncertainty, relief, anxiety, fear etc. I’ve walked on eggshells for the last nineteen months every single day and this past month has been no exception. Since Oct of 2016 my husband has suffered from fluid retention (edema) in his right shin and ankle of what we were told was ‘unknown origin” except that he has what is called diastolic heart failure so it was probably from that but, ‘not dangerous’. This past month he began complaining of chest pain (different from his heart attack pain) and shortness of breath. Off to the cardiologist we went. 

Another heart catherization was set up. For those who don’t know what that is, its where they thread a small camera up a main artery, in this case they went through my husbands right wrist, directly into the heart so they can see the arteries etc. We were told the stent placed last year was wide open, the other blockage he has is actually reversing itself and all was well that his chest pain and shortness of breath were non – cardiac. 

A week later I came down with the dreaded Flu which settled in my top teeth and then caused a horrific tooth abscess on top of the flu with it’s fevers, muscle pain etc. Last week was a pretty tough week physically for me because it has also made my rheumatoid arthritis flare as well . 

Last week we also saw our regular MD to talk about what could be happening with my husband. Our MD sent him in for a CT scan of his chest and lungs on Thursday. He was concerned about a blood clot in the lungs or worse. Such as lung cancer, COPD etc. To say it was a long emotional weekend would be an understatement. The results came in today, Monday. Seems, thanks be to God, he doesn’t have any of the above but what he does have is fluid in his lungs to go along with the fluid in his abdomen, shin and ankle. Yes, we were told the heart was fine and this is pretty much what I looked like when I got off the phone with our MD’s nurse. 

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I called the cardiologist right away. After a few phone calls back and forth with me explaining to the nurse that our MD says the fluid is coming from his heart failure, (my husband has diastolic thickening and dysfunction) the cardiologist has now started my husband on a double dose of Lasix (water pill) as of tonight and then regular dose each day until we see him along with sending us an order for blood work to check his kidneys as water pills can be hard on the kidneys and dangerous all the way around. 

Oh, in the middle of all of this, we also saw my husbands pain doctor. For those who don’t know, he has had 9 back surgeries since 2005 and has horrible nerve damage in his spine. He began testing at the pain doctor for an internal stimulator to be implanted soon but now, that’s on hold until we can get this edema (fluid retention) under control along with the chest pain and shortness of breath. 

As I am writing this tonight, the pain in my hands from the RA is pretty intense despite my medication and I am sitting atop of my bed, all dogs around me and two on the bed, all sleeping. No television, no music, no YouTube videos playing.  In silence because at this very moment that’s what I need. Silence. Someday’s I just want the train of life to stop and let me off.

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Will You Be Attending?

YOU'RE INVITED!!

In the society we live in these days, our Lord Jesus Christ has been a victim of what most men are now victims of. That is, emasculation. The “feminists”, a group I proudly say I am not part of, and don’t believe an ounce of their rhetoric have turned men into sissy boys. Women believe they don’t ‘need’ a man, they are ‘better than a man’ and the ridiculous list goes on and on and on, and they’ve done the same to our Lord Jesus Christ. Worse yet, those in the Church have gone along with this thinking and have been teaching this mindset for so long, that now, most people think that our Lord Jesus Christ is all about love, lollipops and unicorns. They couldn’t be more wrong. 

While Jesus IS love, He is also just, and righteous and He IS the TRUTH itself. Many places in the bible it tells us that our Lord got angry, and He also tells us countless times what we must do to enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. Why am I writing this post? I was reading the daily Mass readings for today and the Gospel is from Luke 14:15-24. Our Lord is telling about a man who prepares a feast for friends. He then sends his servant to go and invite said friends. Well, each ‘friend’ had a reason they could not attend. Angering the man he then tells his servant to go out into the streets and invite, the poor, the crippled, the lame and the blind to his wonderful feast, rich in all the finest foods of the day. 

Our Lord ends this parable by saying, “I tell you, none of those men who were invited will taste my dinner”. So what is Jesus telling us? The answer is very simple. 

Jesus has invited us ALL to His feast in the Kingdom of Heaven. The invitation is open to all but if you reject Him and His invitation you will NOT taste the Kingdom of Heaven. What does rejecting Him mean? It means not living as He says in Scripture. It means not being open to His love, mercy and graces because we think we know better. It means being of this world and all it’s evil ways instead of just being in the world but keeping our focus on the Lord at all times even when it’s the hardest. 

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So the question then becomes. Will you accept His invitation?

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Can You Hear It?

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We live in a world of chaos and noise.. There is so much noise that most of us if we were to be honest with ourselves can’t handle being in silence. In stillness. We become bored and anxious. Our brains have been rewired to be constantly thinking and doing and the sadness of this fact is, we miss it.

What It am I talking about? The voice of God. What is the voice of God? How do we hear it? The best way for me to explain what the voice of God is, is from the Holy Scriptures in 1 Kings 19:9-13. Elijah is in a cave and the Lord tells him to go outside because the Lord is passing by. When Elijah gets outside a fierce wind comes crushing mountains and rocks but the Lord was not in the wind. Then, an earthquake comes shaking the earth and making more noise but the Lord was not in the earthquake. Next, a fire comes and makes all kinds of noise burning all in its path but the Lord was not in the fire. Finally, a soft breeze comes and Elijah hears the voice of God.

There are two ways here we can understand God. Firstly, God doesn’t speak to us in a loud, noisy, chaos filled voice. There will be no “big bang” so to speak. Instead, Gods voice is like that of a gentle breeze. Have you ever sat outside on a beautiful spring day and felt a soft, gentle breeze? It has no sound does it?.. So we learn that God comes softly. God speaks softly and He speaks gently.

Secondly, God comes in silence. He does not try and breakthrough the chaos of the noisy world we live in. He will not shout over the noise of our thoughts. He waits for us to be silent.  In the fast paced, incredibly noisy world we all live in, finding solitude and silence can be a large task but not impossible. We must seek out the silence. We must re-train our minds to be silent because in that silence we will hear the soft, gentle voice of God who wishes to speak with us if only we allow Him too.

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